Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
