HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
