do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
