the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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