You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
