I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
