sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
