Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I want is dick and wine.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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