It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
