Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
