What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
