Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
