The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
