Ambien. No doubt about it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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