I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
