chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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