I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
