dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
