i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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