so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
