Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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