I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I did not marry a roomba.
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