shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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