if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
