Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
