wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
