i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
