I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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