It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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