well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
