What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
