you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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