i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
