That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
