I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
