I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
