I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
