Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
