She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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