we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My vagina just recognized that song.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize