he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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