Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
