Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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