wrigley field is MILF paradise
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His hands were made for my vagina.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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