so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Even my vagina gasped.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
