hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
