I can tuck mytits in my pants
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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