Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
