its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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