Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
