The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So many bounce houses so little time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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