I accidentally burped into my bong.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
