Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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