We won't sleep together?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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