it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
